Inherent Vice (2014)

I have not seen the entirety of this film.

I have seen about 2/3 of this film, and that was more than enough for me. In fact, it would be enough for pretty much anyone. This movie is two and a half hours long. Now, I've sat through longer movies before, and I have loved some of them. Hamlet was excellent. Gettysburg actually had an intermission, and I loved the crap out of that movie. So, it wasn't just length.

If you fill the time with useful, plot-forwarding activities and interesting dialog, you can drag this thing out to three hours or more. Unfortunately, this movie fills the screen with Joaquin Phoenix getting high and actively not showering. Mind you, the stinky feet are just for show, but I'm pretty sure he just went ahead and got seriously high.

Honestly, if I had to sit though this entire movie, I would also get really high (it's possible that high is the only way to sit through this movie). The movie is supposed to take place in the late 60s or early 70s (I'm not sure which, and I don't care) so the getting high or drunk by everyone involved is fairly acceptable, socially.

So, the draw for this movie is the wasted, wasted cast, and they are running pretty goddamn deep. We get Josh Brolin as the local detective, Owen Wilson as Joaquin's buddy (kind of), Reese Witherspoon as... I think she was a source or something, Benicio del Toro as Joaquin's lawyer, and Martin Short as a dentist who loves to get high. They even have Eric Roberts as one of the bad guys. Any one of these people could carry a movie all by themselves, but no one can carry this one.

So, what's wrong with it, really? It's slow, boring as hell, has completely uninteresting characters, has dialog that is the equivalent of sawing your own tongue off with a somewhat rough green leaf. My wife fell asleep in the middle of it, and she was hoping it was over when she woke up. So, I turned it off, and it was over.

Direction was weak
Story was intolerable
Dialog was terrible

Honestly, I can't even bother with a list anymore.

So bored.

Bottom Line: Boring.



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