K-11 (2012)

Picture the Shawshank Redemption without all the writing, acting, directing, editing, or filming. I only found out after watching this movie that it was Kristin Stewart's mother's directorial debut. I also found out that one of the characters - a mohawk-sporting guy named Sledgehammer - is Kristin's older brother in his first ever role. His role is inconsequential, so he'll probably be able to salvage a career after this crapfest.

The main role that we're following is the hapless Goran Visnjic (you may remember him as Luka from ER) as he comes around from a drug binge in the K-11 section of a prison (I'm sure they said what prison, but it doesn't really matter). This section is exclusively transsexuals and homosexuals. Not just homosexuals, mind you, these are predatory homosexuals. In fact, so are the transsexuals. I'd say 90% of all the people on this floor (including guards) are entirely predatory in almost everything they do.

Our hero has to deal with clichéd  things like the gigantic guy who intimidates everyone and therefore gets left alone, the shy, artistic one who needs protection, and the power player who has a network of people to do his/her bidding. And then he also has to deal with the embedded corruption within the guards (including the one really, really cruel and aggressively gay guard) and the tendrils that the lead evil con - named Mousey - has wrapped around them.

The characters are cardboard cutouts of what is needed. In fact, cardboard cutouts have at least two dimensions, and these characters can only manage the one. Even if they had good actors in these roles, the writing is horrendous. But, they didn't get good actors for this; they had a tiny little budget, and they stayed well within that budget.

I'm trying not to be overly harsh on this movie, and I don't know why. I mean, it really sucked quite a bit. There are leaps of logic that make no sense, there are statements that are pulled right out of characters' asses, and all of the actors were apparently told to try to act "over the top" every time the camera started rolling. Kristin Stewart is not particularly talented, but she drank the family's fill from the talent glass. There wasn't any left for mommy.

The directing was horrifically bad.
The editing was reasonable.
The cinematography was not good.
The writing was an appalling stew of dog and cat crap.
The dialogue was hateful.

The whole movie was a vile sack of vomitous nonsense.

0.25/5

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