DuClaw "The PastryArchy Unicorn Fart After Dark" Stout

When I started my blog, I oft times complained about the extreme length of names for some of the beers I had. Usually, it was because there was a brewery, then there was a line of beers, then there was a name for the specific beer, then the type of beer it was. That can really drag the name out. This one has been arbitrarily lengthened for no detectable reason to, in full, DuClaw Brewing Co. The PastryArchy Unicorn Farts After Dar Chocolate Cinnamon Crunch Breakfast Stout with Gold Glitter. The fact that it says it's a breakfast stout makes me assume I'm going to have coffee, and this will be a short review. 

The black beverage has mahogany tones to it and will not produce a head despite a very angry pour. The "gold glitter" might have settled to the bottom of the can, and I thought this glass could hold 16-ounces, but it appears I'm wrong. So, I see no gold glitter. There's no lacing from the brown bubbles that manage to come out of the beverage and they hang around for quite a while. The aroma is very lightly coffee with chocolate and cinnamon close enough at hand that this may not be the travesty I feared in the first place. 

First sip is coffee bitterness without all that much actual coffee (but still more than I like). The chocolate is dark and bitter with the cinnamon barely making a wave in the rather thick mouthfeel. I didn't expect the "crunch" in the title to come through, and a sip is definitely not going to do it. I suspect either marketing or the devil's cigarettes were involved in naming this thing.  

Tip-in is very mild carbonation tingle with a hint of coffee on top of earth and smoky dark chocolate. The middle arrives with a surprising smoothness alighted with spices and cinnamon and not a whole heap of other flavors. The finish is a crash of mocha, dark chocolate, and spices. 

Bottom Line: Not the worst, but not as imaginative as the name. 

2.75/5