Sixpoint "5 Beans" Porter

Not sure I will ever understand the energy drink cans these guys use. I thought I had tried everything they offered, but I saw this on the shelf, and I decided to give it a good whirl. Fact is, I didn't look at it too hard, as it appears it may be a coffee-based beer. Beers that are based on coffee are an insult to my palate, and I hope they die a fiery death. Still, I have this one to try, and maybe it will redeem the others.

The black beer has a very slight red-brown haze around the outsides only when exposed to fairly bright light. The tan head is thin, but it has staying power. It caps the beer like a thin film of algae - unmoving and seemingly menacing. The aroma is very coffee. It's coffee grounds, vanilla, oak, smoke, and I'm sure a bunch of other stuff that is buried under the coffee. I fear, as a non-coffee drinker - I've made another mistake.

First sip is coffee grounds. If there's more in it, I can't taste it, but friends have told me that my sensitivity to coffee taste is similar to a lot of people's sensitivity to onions - if they were in the room when the burger was created, they can taste it. I don't go that far, but I have been known to complain that Keurig coffee machines leave too much coffee taste on the spout, and hot chocolate made any time after coffee will inevitably taste like coffee. I'm swigging, even though I know this won't go well.

Tip-in is smokey coffee with light vanilla preventing the coffee from taking over. The middle is more coffee with toffee added and molasses sprinkled in for sweetness. The finish brings the bitterness and coffee grounds that I feared, and this is just not for me, sorry.

Bottom Line: I wasted my money on this.

0.25/5