Mimesis (2011)

This is not a review. This is a warning. Stay clear of this movie.

The only way to watch this movie and not feel like your life is being sucked into the screen by an evil director and writer who are laughing while nourishing themselves on your life is if Starship Titanic or Rifftrax does a parody of it. Even then, you are not completely shielded from the cruel intent of the creators.

The acting is worse than pretty much any movie I've seen so far. Yes, that includes A Common Man. None of the actors - none of them - should ever be allowed to work in a movie or TV show or Theater or TV commercial or even allow themselves to be seen in public again. I suggest a group walk into a helicopter blade.

The directing was pretty clearly done by an eleven year old who had never actually been allowed to see a scary movie for his whole life, and this is kind of what he imagines it would be like. He also probably has a significant speech impediment and twitch that make it difficult for the camera operators to understand him.

The story - who thought this was a good idea? There are screenwriters out there who will, no doubt, kill themselves after seeing that this crap got made into a movie while their own nuanced take on Lake Placid Five will never get to be made.

Cinematography was horrible
Dialog was horrific
Story was laughable
Acting? There wasn't any.
Directing was not quite as good as four hours of watching a monkey bang on a pan



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