Parker (2013)

Despite Jason Statham's inability to pick a good script, I like him as an action actor. He's got a certain amount of machismo mixed with more than your average level of action star intelligence. His martial arts style is very aggressive, and it's generally simple. If only he could apply the intelligence that his characters demonstrate when he's picking scripts.

Michael Chiklis doesn't really seem to have the kind of choices in scripts that Jason has. Still, he did well with Pawn, and I was looking forward to a nuanced character in Parker as well. Unfortunately, he didn't get a whole lot of screen time, and his character was written to be a soulless backdrop to the love story between Jason and Jennifer Lopez.

Speaking of Jennifer - I know lots of ink has been used to describe her butt, and we see it in all of its glory in this movie. However, while it is a lovely derriere, I don't really see that it's that big of a deal. I mean, they have better butts on Chive, if that's all you're looking for. And her acting skills would lead me to believe that the butt is all most of you are looking for.

Good to see Nick Nolte getting work, huh? That guy's voice always sounds like he's drowning in his own saliva. I will never forgive him for the Hulk movie.

So, this is a revenge story where Jason gets screwed by Michael's gang early on, but they don't finish the job, so he's back to get them all (like Pokemon, but less fun). In the process, he runs across Jenifer who is drowning in debt and is looking for an illegal way out (once she discovers Jason's intent) and she partners with him as the inept sidekick who is little more than a liability. Madness ensues, and the good guy gets out alive.

Somewhere in the middle, Jason tries to put on a Texan accent. It is one of low points in the movie. Honestly, dude, if you can't do an accent, don't try.

The story is very simple and rehashed.
The cinematography is good enough.
The acting is varied.
Dialogue is choppy and stilted.
The direction is passable.
All told, the movie is a fair representation of a boilerplate action movie.

2.25/5

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