Last Knights (2015)

Let start with the setting: I have no idea what the setting is. I have seen movies with knights in them before, I've seen fantasy movie with knights in them, and I've even seen sci-fi movies with knights in them. We have knights, and they seem to be in a strange version of a combination Rome/England/miscellaneous Asian country.

I have no idea why they decided to go this route. The swords that the knights use are clearly Asian designs. Their armor is leather rather than metal, and that doesn't make a lot of sense. We have high ranking Asian men, and our hero, Clive Owen, works for his black master, played by Morgan Freeman. So, we have a mishmash of different cultures and races melding together to tell the tale... a tale that has been told before, and it has been told with more skill.

The acting is not the problem with this movie, though. Let's just assume that Clive and Morgan showed up and did their best. They didn't, but they aren't the problem, so let's just move on. The story is a recycled attempt at 47 Ronin and all of the movies that came before it with the same idea of a group of loyal soldiers eventually attempting to avenge their master. Why they tried so hard to make the audience think that this wasn't the point of the movie, I'll never know. Without revenge, this movie looses all motivation.

The dialog (what there is of it) is just for show; it gets us from point A to point B. We follow this group of highly efficient killing soldiers as they deal with the loss of their master, the subsequent destruction of his legacy, and plot their revenge. All the while, they are under the watchful eye of the guy who sits at the right hand of the emperor, who has already proven himself to be a jerk in the highest.

Here's the thing, though - these guys demonstrate nothing more than a brawler's idea of fighting. Fortunately for them, their enemies have the exact same quiver full of tactics. At one point, all the good guys are standing in a stairwell below all of the bad guys. The only arrows fired are from the good guys, even though there is nothing for the good guys to hide behind. It's these kinds of tactical errors that make me really kind of hate this movie. This happens through the whole movie, too. We're supposed to be impressed with fighting skills that have not been able to mature.

In order to pull off the illusion of having lost the will for revenge, our hero Clive does some absolutely terrible things. I don't just mean the acting in ways that a knight would not (without honor). I mean the ignoring of the downtrodden who clearly need his help, and his ignoring their pleas. After having watched the whole movie, I have less respect for the character based on the stuff he should have done and didn't because of his quest for revenge.

Direction was meh
Action was not good
Acting was a mixed bag
Story was very weak
Dialog was very weak

Bottom Line: A movie that should return to whatever time or place it was supposed to have been filmed in.

1.5/5

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