Kill Me Three Times (2014)

The reason this movie is on anyone's list to watch at all is that Simon Pegg plays the more-or-less straight character of a professional hitman. As an actor, he played it well enough, but the character was about as uninteresting as it could be written.

I can't help but thinking that this movie would have been SO much better if they had gone the way of The Whole Nine Yards and made it more overtly comedic. Instead, there were a couple snicker points, but then it fell back on the story, and the story was really weak and kind of stupid. Maybe today's audiences have become too sophisticated for the simple redirects that this movie relies on, but it was SO predictable.

Alice Braga plays the wife of local all-around terrible person Jack, played by Callan Mulvey. He hires Pegg after he suspects that Alice is cheating on him with Luke Hemsworth - the most discounted Hemsworth you can buy on the market today. When you can't afford the Thor money of Chris nor the People Magazine's 2014 Sexiest Man Alive money for Liam, you can now get your Hemsworth in also excessively muscle-bound Luke flavor (available in Australia only).

Thrown into this mix are the confusingly intimidating Bryan Brown playing the local cop who is so far on the take that it is strange to think of what his actual job might be. He doesn't really seem intimidating, but everyone seems to be intimidated by him for no particular reason. This includes the local dentist and his wife played by Sullivan Stapleton and Teresa Palmer. These two were also looking to kill Alice, and their motivations are a little more vague.

Most importantly, everyone in the movie apart from Simon is a bumbling idiot in general and unable to perform the simplest of tasks when called upon. I believe this is for humorous effect, but I can only discern this point intellectually instead of actually feeling entertained with the humor.

Acting is okay
Action is not great
Story is weak
Dialog is pretty weak
Direction is not good

Bottom Line: It's a shame. A lot of recent Australian movies have been staggeringly good. This one does not fit that mold.

1.25/5

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