See No Evil (2006)

If your real name was Glenn Jacobs, and you wanted to be taken seriously as a professional wrestler, you may very well have changed it to Kane as well. Yes, this is a movie starring a WWE wrestler and produced by WWE itself, so the expectation level for it was not high (at least MY expectations). These expectations were not met.

The story exists to make the characters go to the place where the bad guy is. Two buses come from two different jails with very few people on them. One bus has female prisoners and one bus has male prisoners. They all act in ways that would have eliminated them from this kind of off-property work in the first place, and they are all wearing what appears to be stuff that they showed up to prison in instead of some kind of overall or even orange shirts. These people have volunteered to help clean up an old hotel (which was built with bad CG) for three days.

The characters are very, painfully cookie cutter. You've got the guard who lost a hand to the evil bad guy and is haunted by the encounter. You have the tough guy who poses and treats women with a misogyny that Andrew Dice Clay would approve of. You have the girl who has been mistreated by men and recoils at the thought of them. You have... damn - these characters are so boring that it's just too much to bother listing them out.

Even the bad guy is a copy of Leatherface's giant-guy-who-is-abused-by-his-family-and-has-internal- conflict-that-only-sometimes-comes-out. And this is a big guy, make no mistake. Kane is absolutely huge when he's in the ring against other very large guys, but he's in this movie with regular-sized people and relatively small late teens.

I don't know if they just weren't trying with this movie or what, but there aren't any points that made the viewers scared. There weren't any characters that made us hope that they would get away. There wasn't even enough angst in the bad guy to make us sympathize with him. I think these people once saw a scary movie and decided it wasn't that hard to do something like that, we've got all this wrestling money, and dammit, we're an empire! The XFL didn't work, but movie making will!

The CGI in this movie really tries, but it's not good enough.
The music is intrusive and annoying most of the time.
The action scenes are cut in a way that makes me think that the editor didn't like violence as much as the usual WWE audience would.
The directing was just crap.
Even lighting was bad.

0.25/5

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