Getaway (2013)

This is an hour and a half long Shelby Super Snake commercial. A former NASCAR driver is forced to drive a car and do stupid things in it in order to save his wife from the whims of a deranged and brilliant psychopath.

This car has been specially outfitted with cameras all around so that the driver and the action can be watched from wherever the evil genius is. It has also been armored (in less than two days) to the point that it survives multiple head-on collisions with other cars, trucks, rails, and other assorted stuff. Only by the end does it seem to show any of the dents or scrapes that it has been getting through the movie, and they are not appropriately significant.

Our hero, Ethan Hawk, does a lot of scowling and grumbling, but, even though he is on camera most of the time, acting talents aren't exactly strained. Occasionally, he will go so far as to look concerned, but this is about the car, isn't it? Mind you, it's a very nice car. I wouldn't scoff if someone were to offer me one.

Good thing it's not about Selena Gomez. She is the supposed owner of the car who did all of the modification to make it perform really well herself (before it was stolen and armored and wired for cameras in two days.) She doesn't act as well as the car does in this movie. She is supposed to play a bratty little girl, and I would have expected that to be well within her wheelhouse, but she just doesn't come off as believable. Even when she's whining, it seems like she's reading it off of a cue card.

Speaking of not believable, Jon Voight is the voice on the other end of the phone. He puts it upon himself to put on an accent, and it's not as bad as the one he butchered for Anaconda. All we get to see most of the time is his mouth as he is issuing instructions as part of his master plan, and he swats his martini glass in frustration at one point. It's very exciting. I'm thinking Oscar!

Some of the technical stuff in this movie is beyond excusable. I can only imagine what Everything Wrong With would do to this movie, as there is literally too much material to work with. Take out a powerplant, and the lights are still on all over town. The control module for the cameras is a Kenwood D710 ham radio which cannot do any of the things they want you to think it does. The cell connection to the car is rock-solid in an underground parking structure - right. Honestly, there are too many problems.

Story is laughable
Acting is terrible
Stunts were very good
Effects were decent
Directing was okay
I have to admit, I like that car.

1.5/5

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