Psychosis (2010)

If this is what British horror movies have become, then we don't have to worry about the downfall of American-made B-movie horror anytime soon. I watched this because Charisma Carpenter was in it.

Charisma plays a cute, young writer who is moving to a remote village in England to.. I don't know.. do whatever writers think they have to do in order to just sit down and freaking write. The movie already has one foot firmly planted in pig crap when you realize that the main character is a writer. I may have mentioned on this blog before, but writers default to assuming only the most knowledgeable, entertaining, and intelligent people in the world would be writers like them, so they fall back on the cliche that they are responsible for.

So, our hero - the American in the land of rain, bangers, and mash - starts witnessing things she can't explain. Slowly, this drives her nuts, as he boyfriend clearly does not actually give to rats asses. And the problem with how this story is slapped together is rooted in the way it tries to be creepy. Instead of going for a big scare or building scares, it relies on startling you with nonsense. It reminds me of a freakier version of Rosemary's Baby. Yes, you read that right - freakier than Rosemary's Baby.

We get images that seem completely random. Towards the end, they try to tie the whole thing together, but you have the hunter swinging his penis in the woods, the kid kicking the soccer ball in the front lawn, and the nutty blonde woman being nutty fairly randomly. I'm surprised I sat through the whole thing, but I played with the dogs to keep myself awake.

The story was horrendous
The acting was terrible
The dialogue was unjustifiably dull
Direction was done by an epileptic during a seizure
This movie was undeniably awful



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