Well, this movie steals directly from the premise of Crash by having desperate storylines intersecting with each other. Crash wasn't the first film to do something like that, but I really get the sense that Crash was the direction they were going. This movie, however, can't wipe the spittle off of Crash's mouth as it accepts the Academy Award.
The main underlying story is that the Shroud of Turin has been stolen from the church. In fact, the basics of the crime are detailed by Larry King himself on TV. What he fails to mention, however, is that the Shroud of Turin has been confirmed as a fake, and the church has essentially distanced itself from the veneration of the Shroud. I don't know how much Larry was paid, but it wasn't enough to whore out his image like this.
Around that main plot are several storys:
- A kid who needs money to pay for medicine for his baby brother
- A messenger girl who has to take a box - rush - to the other side of the city
- A guy running from a gang of probable drug dealers
- A couple of cops (one of whom doesn't play by the rules)
- Christopher Walken as a homeless man telling a story to a homeless dwarf
There are some basics we have to agree on:
- Cars burst into flames when they wreck
- Police officers are incompetent
- Christopher Walken doesn't have an agent that is worth a crap
- Christian Slater is well past his prime
The whole movie came together slightly unexpectedly, but it was totally not worth watching.
Cinematography was bad.
The dialogue was laughable.
The acting was generally pretty bad.
The director needs shot.
Audio was good. I have to like something, right?
The credits were made in the 1908's.
The film was not good at all.
0.5/5