Cloud Atlas (2012)

I like Tom Hanks. I like Halle Barry. I like Hugo Weaving.
I do not like Hugh Grant or Susan Sarandon.

That is a decent list of A-List actors, though, isn't it? If only the movie could be long enough to give those actors time on the screen. Well, good news film fans; this sucker is three damn hours long.

It's a rambling hodgepodge of dystopian future, wretched past, and ... I think there is a present in there, but its hard to tell. They toss you around from one timeline to the next in a hamfisted attempt to draw parallels between the storylines. It'd be one thing if I could understand what they were saying in each timeline, but the broken English in a few of them was pretty much indiscernible.

Honestly, I just don't know what they were going for. At one point, the British guy who has been made up to look somewhat unconvincingly Korean goes all Neo on everyone. Not sure how, and not sure why.

In short, there was some good acting. There was some overacting. There was quite a bit of bad writing. There was all too much bad art direction. We had some bad direction, and we had indecipherable dialog. Not worth the rental, and definitely not worth the three damn hours.

1.0/5

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