Hoppin' Frog B.O.R.I.S. The Crusher Oatmeal Imperial Stout

This was a gift, and I am not sure what to make of it. An oatmeal stout that is also an imperial stout is a bit ambitious. The fact that this is from Akron, Ohio also does not inspire confidence. Although, if I was stuck in Akron, I would spend a LOT of time trying different recipes of stuff that would make me forget that I was in Akron.

The color is pitch black. The head is a dark brown and very thin; it dissipates so quickly, it's almost as if it is afraid of something. The aroma is more like a coffee-style stout than either an imperial or oatmeal stout; even a milk stout sweetness in lingering there. The grains are heavy and smokey - almost like a good porter. Enough sitting on the sidelines - I'm going to jump in and play the game.

First sip is not sweet, that's for sure. It is smokey to the point of being burnt, but the coffee taste I was afraid of is only a background to the rest of the scorched oats. Layered in there is something almost syrup with its sweet taste. There is definitely more coffee taste that comes out toward the end, though. Looks like the only way to know for sure what this really tastes like is to swig it, and that's where I get passed the ball.

Tip-in is bitter coffee with light carbonation. The middle is that syrup in both sweetness and texture as it goes down. It's like it just slurps down the throat. The finish hits with a bitter taste on the roof of the mouth that shouts at the tastebuds like an angry old man complaining that the bacon is too tough on his BLT. The rest of the finish is just the same bitterness echoing down the concrete hallway that leads back to the locker room.

Not my favorite beer. It tries too hard to be too many things and never really excels at the few things it's capable of. It's like Kordell Stewart trying to be a wide receiver and a running back and a quarterback - something has to give, and it turns out that everything does.

1.25/5

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